“I am grateful to be a woman. I must have done something great in another life.”
— Maya Angelou
My Story
I know what it’s like to not belong.
From the very beginning of my story, I was different. Everyone I knew came from their parents and were related to their siblings. I was not. I was adopted. It’s hard to put into words how much this affects your sense of belonging. It’s a double whammy- feeling like I didn’t belong because my own mother gave me up and then being in a family where I felt different. I was sensitive and I felt things deeply. I felt connected to nature in a deep way and was drawn to the ideas of magic and potions. I played with Daddy long leg spiders during recess because I thought they were beautiful and delicate. I learned that my emotions were ‘wrong’ and not allowed. I learned that I needed to abandon my needs in order to care for others. I learned that to be loved I had to be a ‘good girl’ - obedient, pleasing, quiet.
Looking back, I can see how this was the perfect recipe for living with shame. I tried to fit in - and on the outside, I did! I had friends and played sports and did well in school. But as I grew older, the other part of me felt like it was bursting at the seams. I had done such a good job at being a “good girl” and doing what made others happy, that it’s almost like the parts of me that had been ignored and shoved away grew so strong that they started taking over and calling the shots. I had so much struggle when those parts came out. It’s like I was two different people and one person was praised and one was to be kept hidden.
My early years as an adult were rocky to say the least. The things I was doing were self destructive and harmful. I think I was always running from myself and doing whatever I could to stay distracted and numb. By not knowing who I really was, I let people into my life that didn’t have good intentions. There’s a saying, “we teach people how to treat us,” and wow, does that land deep for me. My shame kept me stuck in behaviors, my behaviors made me feel shame, and on and on went the cycle.
Fast forward to now…I know I’m different and I have learned what that means and how to celebrate that. I don’t feel like I need to fit in or be liked. I’m me, take it or leave it. Belonging to myself is now more important than others saying I belong. No one can take that from me and I want to help you find your way to this place. We aren’t all meant to like the same things, feel the same, want the same, see the same. On a basic level I think we all know that, but it’s a whole new world when you begin to believe it and live it.
Healing gave me a new chance at life
When people think of a spiritual awakening, they think of a beautiful moment when we finally say to ourselves “I deserve better than this!” And then we run back into our lives, happy and motivated to change.
That is not my story. And it’s not what most spiritual awakenings are. It looks more like lying on the kitchen floor, crying uncontrollably, feeling totally hopeless and broken and finally hearing a small voice that says “enough.”
The thing is, once you see, you can’t unsee. Once you know, you can’t un-know. Everything changes once you wake up because you can’t go back to sleep. For me, the running away, the numbing, the people pleasing had begun to kill me. I had no inner light. I had no sense of self. I was in pain and lost and disconnected - I was finally able to see that and witness myself. I was responsible for the mess that I was living in. No one was coming to save me and no one could. It was up to me. The way I see it, the Universe stepped in and told me that I needed to change. It was do or die time. And thank goodness for the divine intervention.
So one tiny step at a time, I found how to make myself a place I wanted to come home to. I didn’t rebuild myself, I had to start from scratch. I didn’t even know what I liked and didn’t like. I didn’t know how I felt most of the time. It’s like I had to learn the ABCs of how to be a human being. It was a lot of unlearning patterns and beliefs. It was changing behaviors that were keeping me from the life I wanted. It was hard. And it was beautiful.
I know what it feels like to use pain as power. I am stronger now than I ever was before. I feel aligned. I am no longer lost. Healing saved my life and I bring this into my work with each and every client. The gift of healing is the chance at a new life- one that is cultivated to be truly yours in every authentic and unique way. I made mine, and I am honored to walk along those who are making theirs.
I became a therapist because if we can heal ourselves, we can change the world.
Imagine if one day, every person on the planet woke up without any trauma, limiting beliefs, hurts, or fears. What would that day look like? How would this change humanity as a whole?
I think of adults as children running around in adult costumes. We act based on emotion. We throw tantrums. We unconsciously do things to avoid feeling things or facing things. The sensations in our bodies tell our brains how to feel and then our frontal lobe decides to act. It’s honestly a mess. We are a culture stuck in auto pilot.
In the words of the Dalai Lama "Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects."
Healing yourself will change you. What kind of ripples can this have in your life?
Biography
Brooke Brandeberry is a licensed counselor (LMHC) and licensed nutritionist. She received her double master’s degree from Bastyr University in Nutrition and Clinical Health Psychology. She is trained in ACT, Brainspotting, Intuitive Eating, Motivational Interviewing, and Internal Family Systems.
Brooke has a private practice in Lynnwood, Washington and has been working with women who struggle with eating disorders, addiction, relational trauma, burnout, childhood trauma and anxiety for almost a decade. She specializes in providing intuitive trauma therapy and offers a holistic, integrative approach that honors the whole person. Brooke focuses on helping individuals restore nervous system health and regulation, reclaim and embody their inner power, and live their truth. She is passionate about helping individuals come home to themselves, remember their inherent worth, and trust their inner wisdom.